Tag Archives: reflections

#24: Make Him Your World

29 Dec
ariel

Part of his wooooooorrrrrrrrlllllllddddd

Ladies and gentlemen, for this post let us briefly turn to Walt Disney and the classic Little Mermaid for this lesson in love.  What do we learn:

  • Obsess over how you can become something other than what you are (Ariel longing desperately to be human)
  • Obsess over how you can make yourself apart of someone else’s world and life
  • Do whatever you need to do to make that happen
  • This includes ignoring the warnings of close friends and family
  • Give up any and everything to fit into his world (lose bras, I mean fins, voice, etc just for a pair of “legs” for a man)
  • Turn your back on family and whoever else does not support your decision to make this man your world
  • No seagull, fish and lobster are going to come to your rescue when the man you lost and gave up everything for is mesmerized by some other woman who can do what you can’t…. take that to mean whatever you want but if we’re talking about Ariel it was sing…  These days it’s… well you get the picture.
  • And when you get yourself into trouble, go right back to those very people and depend on them to bail you out of trouble
  • Things in real life don’t ever end “happily ever after”.

So there you have it folks, making him your world & making yourself apart of his world 101 from The Little Mermaid.  Bound!! [Kayne West style].

Making a man your world, your everything is one of the fastest ways to an enduring, fulfilling relationship; especially at it’s inception.  That’s when we are the most inclined to do this because it’s fresh and we want it to last and this is the best way to do that.

Find a way to trade in everything that makes you you and distinguishes you and your interests and values from his.  You want to blur the lines between his world and life and yours.

You can accomplish this in four easy steps:

1.  Make yourself available 100% of the time.  Don’t make plans with any one else.  In fact cancel all plans and arrangements you made months earlier.  You need to be at his beck and call.

2.  Get rid of all of your friends.  Yup, just stop calling them, stop spending time with them.  Say no when they invite you places.  You want to free up all your mental energy and time with thoughts of him and him, only.  Social life?  Who needs that when you have a man!  Hello!

3.  Make sure everything revolves around him:  your hair appointments, dentist visits, laundry.  Do these essential things only when you know:

  • a) he will be at work
  • b) he made other plans with the friends he didn’t get rid of for you
  • c) he is sick and can’t spend time with you
  • d) he is pretending to be sick so that he doesn’t have to spend time with you.

4.  Final step:  expect him to make him your world too and then argue with him when he refuses.  Why should he be allowed to refuse to give up his martial arts training.  The nerve of him to try to derive some similitude of happiness, joy and recreation outside of being with and spending time with you!

Making him your world is THE SINGLE MOST romantic, sexy, endearing, non-desperate, non-thirsty, non-smoothering thing you can do for you, your man, and the future of your relationship.

Two Scoops of Goodness

28 Dec

…or three or four….   What I’d like to call combining several random separate blog posts into one extra long post.  If you haven’t noticed I have been away for a looooooong time.  I have a lot of catching up to do.  I feel I owed my fans a double whammy as a result.  So you will get my apology for staying away so long, some cool lists and a blog themed post.  I know, I know, you are thrilled.  Don’t wderrick roseorry you don’t even have to contain your enthusiasm.   🙂  Special shout out to Dax over at Hi, My Name is Dax… and I’m a Dateaholic for unintentionally calling me out of retirement with his post Not Going Into Retirement.    When I read this, I knew I had to get back in the game.  Had I had any sports knowledge I would have displayed that expertise and brilliance here, instead a picture of some athlete (who I don’t even know) who looks like he is waiting to get back into the game (of a sport I am also even unaware of although the bull makes me think basketball) will suffice.

Reasons for Unintentional Retirement:

1. Work:  This takes up 80% of my time and life right now.  Which I am not complaining about.  I love what I do.

2. School:  This also takes up 80% of my time.  With reading 500 page books and writing 500 paged papers.   Oh my I can hardly wait until this part of my life is over.

3. Social Life:  20% of my time is spent trying to have some semblance of a social life.  Which I have become more successful at as of late because I found an “activity partner”.  Someone suggested this to me and I scoffed at the idea and concept because as an adult the only activity people are looking to do is….  well, I actually found someone who is willing with the no time we have left, to just hang out platonically which is cool.

If you notice my percentages are grossly off.  Of this I am fully aware.  Needless to say, time to blog and keep up with all of you… 0%.

On another note, ‘Yonce and her new album… loving it.  My top three tracks are (in no particular order)…..

1. Rocket Love  (fav line:  I do it like it’s my profession)

2.  Mine (fav line:  stop making big deals out little things)

3.  Jealous (fav line:  that ain’t nothing, I’m just jealous, I’m just human)

Speaking of what makes one human, this thought came to me:  Who are you at your best and worse?  And the infamous Marilyn Monroe quote inevitably came to mind:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Made me want to create my own.

At my best I am/can be:

1.  Giving:  I really love sharing things with people:  my time, my cooking, my things, gifts (when it is not grossly inconvenient and/or being taken advantage of or unappreciated) and I do for the most part enjoy making other people happy.   I don’t keep score with how much I have given, or who’s turn it is to give either

2.  Loving:  When I love, I love deeply and basically there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.  Supportive, encouraging, understanding… all that good stuff

3.  Creative:  It’s a mode I wish I operated in more but creativity is basically life.  It gives you this fire and passion and new perspective and drives one to accomplish great things

At my worse I am/ can be:

1.  Unforgiving:  Especially when I’m wounded or hurt by you, aww man

2.  Stubborn:  There aren’t very many things I am dead set on, and for that reason I am pretty flexible, but the few things I am adamant about… watch out

3.  Moody:  I dislike this most of all.  Hunger, fatigue, and that time of the month can off set a very bad mood and it’s one of the most unpleasant things

I’d be interested what things come up for you guys! Feel free to comment with it, or create a new post and just tag me in it.   I guess the things that make your “At Your Best” list are the things you want to explore more in the new year, how do you get there, stay there and live there.  Your “At Your Worse” list are the things you work on, recognizing your triggers and managing them.

And lastly, my sis sent me this cool thing that I ‘ll post for you guys.  What are the first three words you see?

The first three words will be what you have in the new year

The first three words you see, will be what you have in the new year

 

My three words for the new year:  Freedom, intelligence and money!!!  Happy New Year’s Guys!!!

Liebster Award #3 for Meeee?

27 Aug

liebster-award

Okay, okay, okay.

I just…

I mean…

Like….

I. Can’t. Believe. This.

This is a total shock to me.  You people actually read this and like it!!!

I am so overjoyed, overwhelmed, and every other ‘over’ word that means happy!!!

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

Audrey you amazing blogger you!!!  She has a really fun blog that is such an honest, transparent and sincere account of her journey through life.  Always something interesting going on there.  Please do pay her a visit ASAP at Like Crazy.

The Liebster Award Rules:  
You must link back the person who nominated you.
You must answer the 10 Liebster questions given to you by the nominee before you.
You must pick 10 bloggers to be nominated for the award with under 200 followers
You must come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
You must go to their blogs and notify your nominees.

And the questions she asked:

1. What is your favorite season and why?

It used to be winter because I used to like cold weather and thought my winter wardrobe was really nice but after living in a state where there was no winter, I have come to learn that life without winter is doable, life without summer not so much.  I enjoy being outdoors, the sunshine, beautiful blue skies  and the ability to just throw on a maxi dress and nothing more and get outside!!!!

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Toughie.  I really hope to be married with 0 kids, I repeat ZERO kids, enjoying my husband, doing the job I do now, and maybe being interviewed for a newly released book or something.

3. What advice would you give your 21 year old self?

Okay so I am slightly over 21 (by just a little ;-)) so that would leave me looking back at myself a couple of years ago and I would have told myself:  Please just love you and yourself for who you are.  Find out who you are.  Find out what you love.  Start thinking about who you want to be.  Don’t be so harsh with yourself.  So what you don’t look like the girls on TV or on magazines but that doesn’t mean you are not beautiful.  Don’t zero in on one feature that you don’t like and draw false, unflattering conclusions about your self.  You are some kind of wonderful, embrace that, own that and live your best life for you and no one else.

4. Do you play an instrument? If so, what? If not, what would you play if you decided to take lessons?

I played the violin in 3rd grade but I quit.  That makes me sad.  Wish I had been forced to continue.  I also fool around with the keyboard once in a while.

5. What is your favorite TV show?

I rarely ever watch TV, let alone have a regular show that I must watch but really have had an obsession with MONK at one point and Project Runway is always amazing when I can catch it.

6. Have you ever met anyone famous?

I have been on the set of Ugly Betty, Step Up 3D, and Let’s Stay Together, so I have SEEN some famous people, that’s close enough to met right? LOL

7. If you could relive any day of your life, what day would you choose?

A snowy day in February a couple of years ago… sitting across the table from him on our first “date”… the look in his eyes was one of pure admiration…. things were good then.

8. What is your favorite number?

I’m going to go with the number 7 because it is the month I was born.

9. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why?

Lust, physical attraction and interest at first sight yes… love?  no

Love is an informed decision one makes after having gathered more information about a person than what meets the eye.  Love requires a degree of maturity and knowledge that supersedes anything superficially presented at first sight.

10. Do you think you’ll continue blogging a year from now?

Absolutely, no doubt in my mind!!!

And now for the nominees:

  1. Corner of Rain
  2. Girls Being Girls
  3. 1000 Days Spent 100% Man Free
  4. Whiskey in a Teacup
  5. Simple Life, Simple Love
  6. Faith Spilling Over
  7. MsKiasway
  8. Revival of a Sunny Disposition
  9. Lexil0uu
  10. OMG WTF LOL

Here are your rules:

The Liebster Award Rules:  
You must link back the person who nominated you.
You must answer the 10 Liebster questions given to you by the nominee before you.
You must pick 10 bloggers to be nominated for the award with under 200 followers
You must come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
You must go to their blogs and notify your nominees.

Here are your questions:

  1. If you could have a guest blogger post for you, who would it be and why?
  2. The key to happiness is…
  3. Top 3 qualities you look for in a significant other?
  4. Favorite movie of all time?
  5. Two things you have done that have not helped your relationships?
  6. The most important quality you bring to a relationship?
  7. This time next year…
  8. What is something you have been putting off doing and why?
  9. Most memorable vacation?
  10. Favorite store to shop at?

#8: Hang Up on Him

25 Jul

Best if done mid-sentence, unsuspectingly and frequently.

I just love this photo.  You probably should aim to look just like this before you hang up.

[I just love this photo] You probably should aim to look just like this before you hang up.

Try to do this sometimes at the outset of your conversation just to throw him off.  Yunno as soon as he says hello after you pick up the phone, especially if you are mad at him.

This is the perfect way to smack him in the face without actually touching him.

In order to do this correctly, it should be done:

  1. Right in the middle of an argument
  2. When he is speaking and expressing his point of view
  3. When you don’t like what he is saying
  4. Angrily
  5. With the intentions of getting him even more upset
  6. And if you are going for the gold star:  hurling insults, yelling and cursing at him first

What we hope this will get us:

  1. Even!
  2. Peace!
  3. Resolutions!
  4. Respect!
  5. An apology!
  6. Warm, fuzzy, loving feelings!
  7. Attention!
  8. A call back!
  9. The “upper hand”!

What we didn’t know it would actually get us (ooooppppps didn’t see this coming):

  1. The same treatment
  2. A new norm in the (phone) treatment of each other (it is now fair game to do this all the time, at any time)
  3. A relationship… one phone call away from being a permanent dial tone

[Looking for a similar read?  Check out:  Dial Tones for Late Night Phone Calls]

#6: Call His Mama*

23 Jul

And I don’t mean, call her names either (but come to think of it, why not add that to the list as well).   Oh no but we are past that stage in our lives of insulting people’s mother’s (never mind, I forgot).  We are mature adults here.

C’mon.

But I mean, call his mom… to complain about him.telling

Or basically to tell on him.

Because clearly she needs to know how wrong he is.  You know what, it doesn’t even matter if she is like recovering from some type of surgery either.  Instead of calling to check up on her, this is the perfect time to try and gain some support for your position.

He won’t listen to you, he won’t change, time to get mom dukes involved.

Air out all his dirty laundry while maintaining that you are only trying to give it a good cleaning.

Because certainly she’s going to take your side.  She’s going to agree with you and your perspective and she’s just going to love you for bad mouthing her son to her.

When all else fails, get his mother involved.

Who needs to handle their own relationship problems without getting moms involved to mediate anyway?

And by virtue of her also being a woman, look forward to her siding with you.  She’s going to see where you are coming from and see just how wrong her son and his behavior is and she’s going to give him a good talking to and it will fix the communication issues you are having in your relationship.

And don’t stop there, while you are calling mama’s, call your mama, everybody and their mama’s too.

The more mamas, the merrier.

That will put an end to his shenanigans.  And your relationship (if not with him, than definitely) with her.

(*Disclaimer:  In my defense so far this is just about the only dumb thing I have  not actually done but serious time and consideration was put into the thought.  Could you tell?  (-:)